604

It appears that Kvatch over at Blognonymous has proven my theory of the space/time continuum, and amazingly has been able to pre-view tonight's State of the Union speech before President Bush actually delivers it (within the normal bounds of the pathetically sluggish speed of light, a mere 299,792,458 meters per second).

Kvatch has posted the full text of the president's soon-to-be-delivered speech here.

In the interests of equal time and fair play, I have also bent the rules, along with the relevant beams of light, and pre-viewed the Democrats' response, as (will be) delivered by Virginia Governor Timothy Kaine, with the intention of posting his remarks here at 604.

However, at the last minute, an unfortunate event occurred/will occur to the governor. Just as he was about to begin his rebuttal, he was/will be arrested for planning to falsify his 2008 tax return (apparently the IRS has also mastered my theory).

Fortunately, that peerless American patriot, Karl Rove, just happened to be in the studio at the time of citizen Kaine's arrest. He picked up the text of the speech where Kaine dropped it on the floor, and read it to the camera, verbatim (so he claimed).

Here is the full text of the Kaine rebuttal, as read by Rove:

"President Bush is the kindest, bravest, warmest, most wonderful human being I've ever known in my life. Thank you and goodnight."

And may God bless America...