A Modest Proposal
The muses sang sweet music to me tonight, during, of all things, the Democratic debate.
While the candidates were pontificating about some of the most serious problems we face, like sending our young people off to die in a senseless war, the looming Social Security crisis, out-of-control prescription and medical costs, I had something of a revelation. We can solve all of those problems with a single bold stroke.
Draft the elderly.
Why do we send the young off to war, anyway? They have their whole lives ahead of them, while the elderly have pretty much lived out their lives already. And being late in life, they're just going to be racking up huge medical bills and draining the Social Security pool.
Life expectancy in America is 78 years. After that, you're pretty much living on borrowed time anyway, so off you go to Iraq, or wherever the war du jour happens to be. Between the war casualties and the exhausting second and third and fourth tours, the life expectancy average should get knocked down pretty quick, along with all the expenses that go along with living to a ripe old age.
Sure, some of you may think this is a little radical — especially the sixty-something set. But it's better than doing something totally outrageous, like raising taxes to, you know, pay for things that are actually worthwhile.
Comments
If we follow your suggestion all the tanks and trucks would be wrecked because they would all be driving with their left blinker on, but never turn. They would all be driving in the fast lane but going only 30mph. Nope, don't think it would work. ;)
Posted by: pissed off patricia | September 27, 2007 01:42 PM
PoP is too quick to dismiss the potential of the geriatric brigade. Just the confusion they could generate would work wonders.
But as a group the elderly are controllable. eg, call tea/coffee break and stand back, no one can withstand the ensuing assault.
Posted by: Dennis Cartledge | September 27, 2007 03:06 PM
Brilliant just brilliant. And guess who is about to retire soon. I say give him some brush cutters and send him out in front of the troops cutting down the bush and finding the WMD's.
Posted by: Lev | September 27, 2007 06:06 PM
Great comments all, thanks.
PoP, I think I've driven behind a few of the folks you refer to. But Cartledge is right - it's a very diabolical way to throw the enemy off balance.
You're right, Lev - The Decider should be draftee #1.
Posted by: abi | September 27, 2007 07:13 PM
LOL! You should turn that concept into a screenplay. It would make a great Bill Murray movie!
Posted by: Kathy | September 28, 2007 01:53 PM
Good idea, Kathy. I'd like to see that movie myself.
Posted by: abi | September 28, 2007 09:15 PM